I want to tell you about checking accounts. First, I never had one until the other day. I walked myself into a bank because I had to get out of the heat. And they keep them banks pretty dang cold. So me and my baby boy are enjoying the nice cold air when I saw a sign that said “Checking Accounts”. I don’t know about these kinds of things so I politely asked some dressed up gentlemen please to explain what this is about. Apparently you give these nicely dressed up people your money and they hold it for you. And sometimes they even pay you to let them hold it for you. So the gentlemen asked me if I would like to open up one of them checking accounts. And I was like “Hell Yea”. He informed me to come back with one hundred dollars. I’m poor so I had to get real creative and come up with this 100$ real quick. First I decided I would try just asking passers by for spare change. I made forty-five cents and a pickle sandwich. Then I tried performing Shakespeare. Thou hast no mindfulness of the failures that bode mine endeavor. I lost money for my performance. Then I picked up my banjo and started playing. I made ten dollars. Now it was lunch time, and my young’un was whining, “I’m hungry!” so I had to feed him. So, then I was down to four dollars. This is going to take forever, I thought to myself. That evening I went out with a friend who offered to buy my kid and I dinner. While I was sitting at the bar waiting, a guy at the end of the bar overheard me tell the bartender about my needing a hundred dollars. He walked over and said, “I will give you a hundred dollars, if you show me your breasts.” Out popped the pups. I now have a checking account.